You can't keep me down! For long... It's time to shine!

Hello beautiful people! I hope you had an amazing week!

Me? I'm just glad I survived! LOL!

So, a little bit about what's been going on with me. I made the decision back in August to start a new job. It was a hard decision to make and I did not take weighing the pros and cons of this change lightly. It didn't take me long to realize that the job I chose was not the one for me. Mostly everyone there tried to make me feel welcome and I did my best to fit in, but things just didn't feel right. I succeeded at what I could and found a way to try and stay positive and keep a smile on my face despite how I was feeling. Each day, I was even more sure that I had not made the right decision. I'm not going to get into all the details of that because in the end, it doesn't really matter now. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was meant to be there for the season I was.

I feel that there were many lives that I was able to touch, but even more importantly, I believe now that maybe I was there for them to touch mine as well. So many precious souls I met that made an impact on the way I view those with disabilities who cannot always speak for themselves. They touched my world, my heart, my soul, and for that I will be forever grateful. Their smiles, their laughter, and the way they light up when they see you, or hug you, changed me on the inside and helped me to realize that was right where I was meant to be, even if for a brief moment in time. I made friendships and connections that I would not have otherwise made and I hope that those will continue long after I'm gone.

Long story short, I had the opportunity to go back to my previous job that I desperately loved for almost 8 years. I put in my notice, finished up my last day at the "old" job and got ready to start my "old/new" job the following Monday. I had Friday off and was going to enjoy the 3 day weekend before going back to work and making a fresh start. But that Friday, about halfway through my day, my back went out. And not just an "ouch, that hurts" kind of going out. But more like a "holy crap, I can't even stand up straight" going out. By the next day I could barely stand at all. By Monday, not only was I not able to start my new job, but my freaking fantastically amazing husband had to stay home with me and help me to even stand to walk. He basically carried my weight so that I could even get out of a chair.

Thank God this was my previous employer who understood completely about back pain and suggested I take the week off to recuperate and start the following Monday because that is exactly how long it took to get back to any type of normalcy. And it was unsettling to me to say the least.

Okay, so first of all, I want to say that I'm not telling you all of this to complain about my back, lol. Although... man! It really took everything out of me for a while! When something like this knocks you down and you finally realize you have no choice but to stop whatever it was you were planning on doing and let your body do it's thing, it was a huge wake up call! And then I look around at many of my high school friends who have so much more serious things going on with them....Where do I get off complaining about a little back pain?

I watched a friend go through the process of receiving a kidney transplant - the same man who did not know just a few short months ago how much of 2019 he'd even get to see.

I remembered a dear friend who just last year went to the E.R. with "stomach pain", was diagnosed with colon cancer, and lose her life within just a few months after that diagnosis without even having a chance to try to fight that horrible disease.

And yet another, who was diagnosed with breast cancer, but seems to be beating all the odds and everything stacked against her. She is a warrior at heart and my inspiration in staying positive through any struggle you may face.

I've seen people I love with all my heart torn apart and taken to their knees by acts of hatred, racism, distrust, affairs, violence, bitterness, and anger that could have destroyed them.

For a lot of people, 2018 just wasn't their year. And 2019 is looking to be much of the same.

But to you, I say these simple words. You cannot let these negative things, these so called "random" tragedies define who you are. Because in my opinion, there are no random at all. They are meant to be the catalyst to change, and it all depends on how we choose to react to these changes that matters in the end.

No matter what it is you face, my wish for you is that you know you are valued, you are needed in this world, and most of all, you are loved beyond measure, We can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel when we are in the midst of the storm. But I assure you, it's there, lighting your way, and you are right where you are meant to be in this very moment. It may not seem like it right now, but trust me, you will someday look back and see why these things needed to happen in order for you to grow, to flourish, to change.

Sometimes change is hard, and not at all what we expected to receive out of the plans we made for ourselves. But then we realize that we weren't in change of those plans in the first place, were we? God, the universe, whatever deity you worship and believe in knows the plans they have for you. And they are strengthening your mind, growing your spirit, reviving your soul, and changing your heart from the inside out as you become the unique, precious, magical being you were intended to be all along, before life knocked you down and stole your joy.

One of my favorite scriptures is from Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." We need to be focusing on that hope and manifesting a future full of light, love, happiness, and joy once again.

May 2019 finally be the year we get it right. We put the past behind us, and we learn to truly live, love, and laugh with all our hearts and souls as we shine our light and help pick those up who are having a rough go of it.

As for me... I am back on my feet, back to work, and more determined than ever to spread my light, share my joy, and find my purpose in this life once again. And I wish the same for you, my friends! Let's do this!